An Unexpected Journey? You Better Believe It!
by bangtanforeverduh
Summary: A girl was backpacking with her dogs to her cabin in the woods for a nice, relaxing hunting trip and falls asleep in the snow in New Zealand. She wakes up in a forest that is in the middle of spring. As she searches for help, she comes across two people...did she say people? She meant dwarves! OC falls into the Hobbit! Will follow the book and movie plot line with parts from both
1. Chapter 1

**I Know I Said I Loved the** ** _Hobbit_** **But This Is Ridiculous!**

* * *

Jael sighed as she paused for a second. "Everest, McKinley, why in blazes are you being bought by someone who is deaf? So annoying...Now I have to retrain you to obey in ASL. I don't even know ASL; that's why I had to bloody buy the book."

The dogs looked up at her with their tongues lolling out of their mouths, and she sighed again. _Why do I even bother? This was supposed to be a nice get-away trip because I had finally finished training them in elvish for their new owner, but, no~! The person who was going to buy them backed out, and now their new owner is deaf! I have to retrain them! How am I supposed to completely retrain them in a month?!_

"'You're our best trainer, Jael~. You can just take them on your vacation, Jael~. They'll be fully trained by the time you come back, right~?' NO! Hunting is not a vacation! I finally got permission to hunt here in New Zealand, but now I have to take my precious vacation time and do some work! Am I getting paid for this? NO, I am not!"

Everest licked her face, and she wished for not the first time, that she was just a little taller. _Oh, well. It could be worse, right? No, wait! Never say that because things always manage to prove you wrong! Things can't get worse! Yeah, that's it! There is literally no way that things can get worse!_

She sighed and kept walking, patting McKinley on the head. "Why do I feel as if I just jinxed us, McKinley?" McKinley barked and Jael sighed once more.

"Well, nothing I can do about it, I suppose."

They walked for another hour through the snow before Jael sighed again. _I'm bored, and I guess...it's about time for me to start training them in ASL. Ugh! Why me? Boss, you're so cruel!_

She whistled, and Everest ran back toward her. "How do you have so much energy, boy? You are carrying a pack that weighs forty pounds." He bounced around her, and she sighed.

"This is why we call you Neverest, you know? I don't know how your new owner is going to put up with you."

She shook her head, took off her pack, and motioned for Everest and McKinley to come closer. She took off their burdens and began to set up her tent. Once she had finished, she grabbed her bow and said, "Everest, McKinley, stay!"

The dogs lay down as she headed out to "hunt". _Yeah, I doubt I'll find anything. I just really don't want to start retraining them. It took them forever to learn all the commands in Elvish. Stupid geek that backed out on us. 'I'll buy these two if you train them to respond to Elvish.' 'Ok, I'll put my best trainer Jael on it. No, it's no trouble at all.'_

 _No, trouble for you maybe! But first I had to learn Elvish! Then I had to train them in the normal commands. Then he decides that he wants them to know more. 'Teach them how to carry. Teach them how to herd. Teach them how to guard. Teach them how to tear people apart!' Bloodthirsty freak._

 _It's a good thing I was a Tolkien fan already. And he didn't even tell us all the commands at once! No, he decided to tell us at random intervals just as I would finish training them what he'd asked the last time._

Jael sighed as she stalked through the forest. _Oh well, at least this new guy just wants them to know the basic commands. That should make it easier._

Suddenly, she caught sight of a doe. She instantly stilled, waiting to see if the deer had caught sight of her. After watching the deer for a few minutes, she concluded that it hadn't seen her, and she slowly raised her compound bow and notched an arrow to it.

She stealthily took aim and then loosed the arrow quickly. It hit the deer's heart, and the deer bounded two feet away before collapsing.

Jael walked up to the deer, quickly. She retrieved the arrow and placed it back in its quiver after quickly cleaning it. She placed her bow back in its case and retrieved her skinning knife.

She quickly took care of the deer, wrapping the edible parts in a slick tarp, and using her collapsible shovel to bury the rest.

Grabbing the tarp, she headed back to her temporary camp. McKinley and Everest leaped up when they saw her. Everest bounded around her while McKinley wagged her tail but stayed where she had been told to stay.

Jael sighed as she carefully knelt in the snow to clear a spot for a fire to cook the deer. She quickly lit the sticks she had gathered with one of her lighters and soon had a fire that was just big enough for the meat she had to cook.

She got out the skewers, and it wasn't long before the meat was fully cooked. Everest and McKinley got as close as possible to her, getting as underfoot as possible when only two feet shorter than she was.

"If you don't get out from underfoot, you can catch your own dinner! _Linne-au!*_ "

The dogs went away, just as she'd asked, until she finally managed to place their portion of the meat down on the ground.

" _N- mára*_ *. You'll each get some." They waited until she gave them the all clear and then they tore into it.

Jael shook her head, smiling, and then tore into her own food. _It's nice to have some time away from civilization for awhile even if I'd rather have been completely alone._

The dogs finished much more quickly than she had, and they quickly came to beg from her. She laughed at their faces and shared some with them both. "Ok, ok. I can't take the puppy eyes!"

After wiping clean the skewers, she got out the _Sign Language for Dummies_ book. Sighing, she began to look up gestures that would be necessary. _Oh my word! How does he expect me to get dogs to understand these. If you want the money that much, then you should teach them. Stupid jerky boss._

"Everest, McKinley!"

They came over, and she began to make the sign for sit. She used the first two fingers of her right hand to hit the first two fingers of her left hand. "Sit." They sat, and she sighed. _Of course they sat. You told them to verbally. Idiot._

"They are never going to get this. I hate my boss so much right now."

She sat in silence for a second and then shook her head. "Nope! Not doing this today. I'll try again tomorrow."

" _Lóre.***_ "

She packed away both the book and the skewers and went to her tent.

 _Maybe tomorrow I'll be able to come up with a good idea as to how to teach the dogs ASL._

* * *

Jael woke with a start. Something was wrong, but she couldn't quite place what it was. As she sat up slowly, she gasped in shock. Birds! She was hearing birds! There were no birds that sang during the winter here!

She crawled out of her tent to see a forest with absolutely no snow. There were a few flowers, and birds were flying through the sky. _I knew I jinxed us when I said that there was nothing more that could go wrong. Ugh. Why me?_

 _There are two options: 1) I finally lost my mind, or 2) I'm the newest incarnation of Rip Van Winkle._

She heard rustling, and quickly pulled out her knife, turning with the weapon raised to be faced...with her dogs. She sighed and quickly resheathed her knife, patting the dogs to reassure them.

"Ok...time to pack up and figure out where in the world we are."

Breaking down the camp was easy...getting Neverest to hold still so she could put his pack on was a whole 'nother story.

" _Termáre- símen!_ ****"

Finally, everything had been put in its proper pack, and the packs had been placed on their proper owner. Finally, they could leave. _It's not like I spent a year's worth of time chasing him or anything. Stupid dog! I know I trained you, but can't you act like someone responsible trained you?_

* * *

Jael was about ready to quit...that or die...she couldn't decide which. They had been hiking through the woods for over five hours, and, not only had they not found her cabin, but they also hadn't seen any sign of life except for a few squirrels that Everest had failed to catch.

Suddenly, she heard a sound she couldn't quite believe. Was that the crackling of a fire? A sound of civilization? _Ok, I am definitely being stupid! But still!_ She instantly silenced the dogs and called them back to her with a quickly hissed, "Heel."

"Stay." She whispered and quietly crept towards the sound.

As she stealthily edged toward the clearing, she was praying with all her might that Everest would actually stay. Although he almost never disobeyed a direct command, that did not mean he never disobeyed one.

She peeked into the clearing and stiffened in shock. _Okay, so there was a third option. I'm in Middle Earth. That, or I'm in a coma. So I guess that makes four options? Wait! Stop rabbit-trailing!_

 _Okay, what do you know? A blonde and a brunette dwarf...that look suspiciously like Dean O'Gorman and Aidan Turner. Great. Absolutely lovely._

 _You know, I've never denied loving the Hobbit, and I have definitely said that I would love to live in Middle Earth. But this is just ridiculous! Why ME?!_

* * *

 ***Go Away!**

 ****Be good.**

 *****Sleep**

 ******Stay here**

 **Hello, it's me...the author! I don't own any of the characters of the Hobbit, nor do I own the actors that play them. Frankly, I can't even find my copy of the Hobbit because I lent it to someone. :( Anyway, I only own my OCs (yes, I am including the dogs.)**

 **Also, I have a page of details with what is in each of the packs for her dogs and herself, as well as the heights, weights, and pictures of the dogs. If you guys want to see that, just let me know.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author Note! Sorry to all those who hate them as much as I do...I Don't anything except for my own OC. Also thank you for the reviews...I probably won't remember to ever say thanks again, but I do appreciate them.**

* * *

 _ **In Which Traveling Is Long And Boring**_

Jael slowly sank to the ground, pretending that her legs had not just given up on her, and began to contemplate the meaning of her existence. Finally, after a good deal of thought, the only idea she had come up with was to see if Kili and Fili could lead her to Gandalf. He was probably the only one who could help her get back to Earth because Jael absolutely refused to have anything to do with Saruman the "White".

So, Jael eased herself off the ground and edged carefully into the clearing. "Hello."

Fili and Kili jumped up, blades in hand, and she put her hands in the air. "I come in peace." _Take me to your leader. If I didn't think they'd kill me for that, I would have actually said it._ "I was wondering if you could tell me where I am? I got lost in the woods."

They looked at each other, slightly lowering their blades, and then Fili responded, "You're in the woods outside of Bree."

 _Bree? So, they are headed to the Shire then? So a believable lie? Or the unbelievable truth?_

"Ah….I was told to meet Gandalf the Grey in the Shire, but I got lost. Do you know about how far away that is?" _Believable lie it is. Well, slightly believable lie it is._

Kili and Fili looked at each other, communicating silently as only siblings can, before turning back to her. "We are meeting the wizard and can take you to meet him, if you like."

She nodded, "I would like that very much. Thank you, Masters…?"

"Kili…" The brunet stepped forward, and the blond quickly followed.

"And Fili… **at your service.** "

"Jael, at yours….Now, I have a question….I have two companions. I wonder if they could come as well?"

After another round of silent communicating, Fili and Kili seemed to have no problem with that, and Jael turned around and whistled loudly.

Soon there was a rustling in the bushes, and Fili and Kili jumped up, weapons in hand, at the sight of the two giant dogs. Jael quickly reassured them. "Everest, McKinley, lie down!"

She turned to the dwarves, "I apologize. I perhaps should have warned you of their size."

"How did you get dogs that big? I had almost thought they were wargs if their fur had been shorter."

"Ah, they're a breed called Tibetan Mastiffs. Usually used to guard dwellings or herd animals." Jael was making a conscious effort to speak with the speech patterns of Middle Earth. She wasn't sure if she should tell them she was from another world...that or she was in a coma-dream, but either way, she had no interest in being considered crazy by her favorite dwarves.

"Are they carrying packs?"

"Yes, I was asked to train these two to carry, and so I forewent a pony so that they could carry what I needed. They have been properly trained at last." _Yeah took them forever to learn to carry a pack and leave it alone. Everest used to worry it; tried to tear it to pieces more than once. Wait...stop rabbit-trailing! I swear!_

The dwarves nodded thoughtfully and then gestured for her to join them in sitting around the fire.

"So, Miss Jael, where are you from?"

 _What do I say? What do I say? Come on! Don't freeze up! Think of something!_ "I'm originally from England, but I move around a lot now because of my job." _Oh, that was brilliant. As if they know where England is. You are seriously the worst liar in the world._

" **England?"** It was quite clear that neither of the dwarves had ever heard of England, and it was equally clear that they were going to ask her to describe it. So Jael did the one thing she was amazing at…...she panicked and changed the subject.

"So how far are we from the Shire?"

She sighed, internally, with relief when the dwarves accepted the change in subject, and the conversation quickly began to speed along. Not too much time had passed before the dwarves decided to turn in for the night.

"Do we need to set a watch?"

Kili and Fili glanced at her, and then at each other, with Kili eventually piping up. "No. We are close enough to Bree that there will be no danger."

Although skeptical, Jael had no real reason to doubt them, and after searching through her memories, and finding that in both the movies and the book, Kili and Fili had not been attacked before they officially set out on the quest, she lay down in her sleeping bag, forgoing the tent that would have marked her as even more different than she had already shown herself.

Her dogs curled up on either side of her, and she soon fell asleep, slightly warmer than she wished to be, but completely unable to force the dogs away from her when they were in a world so different from her own.

* * *

When Jael woke up, she felt as if she were suffocating. She opened her eyes to see that her dogs had moved in their sleep, and her face was now pressed into Everest's fur. _No wonder I couldn't breathe._

Sitting up, she wiped all the fur from her face. "Stupid shedding dog…." She muttered, semi-angrily, and then looked around, noticing for the first time that both Fili and Kili were staring at her in amusement.

She blushed, buried her head in her hands, and groaned. "Kill me now."

Both Fili and Kili were noticeably alarmed, " **Why would we do that?"**

Jael stared at them for a solid minute before bursting out laughing. "No, it's just an expression from my home. I didn't actually mean that I wanted you to kill me. Seriously….it just means that I did something so embarrassing that I wish I didn't exist so I wouldn't have to remember it….." She trailed off at their amused faces….."Just like now…..Yep….feeling the same as earlier….." Jael sighed.

"Can we please talk about something else?"

The brothers laughed and said, "Actually, it would probably be best if we were to leave and head for the Shire now."

Jael nodded and began to pack her things, whistling for the dogs, and placing their packs on them. All in all, she was the first one ready to go, and she stood, smirking, waiting for the dwarves.

* * *

Although she finally had gotten to meet some of her favorite characters, she still wasn't quite sure that she was happy that was in ME. Sure, it meant that she could talk to them and get to know them, but she knew their ending….she knew when they died and how they died.

 _Should I do something?_ Can _I even do anything? I mean…..am I even able to stay? And if I stay….how should I try to save them? What could I do….._

Kili and Fili seemed to notice her distraction, and they made every effort to turn her attention back to them. They had so many questions for her that she began to feel as if she were babysitting her three-year-old neighbors again. _Ok….they may be my favorite characters, but I am_ this _close to putting them in a coma so that I can get some peace! I never knew dwarves could be so talkative._

Hour after hour the dwarves asked her questions until finally, she had enough. "That's it! No more questions!" _What should we do instead so that I don't kill them….I've got it!"_

"Let's play I-spy instead." _Anything is better than answering more questions….it's getting harder and harder to avoid messing up and saying I'm from another world._

" **What's that?"**

Jael sighed, "And now I'm explaining I-Spy to dwarves…..weirdest thing that ever happened to me, right here…...No, I take that back…...no wait, rabbit-trailing, sorry." She turned to Kili and Fili, who were staring at her, slightly confused and definitely amused, and continued.

"I-spy is a game where one person picks something, like a color or an object, and all the others try to guess what it is. So if I were first, I would say, 'I spy with my little eye something that is green.' and you would have to guess what it was."

Kili looked just a bit too excited for a game that was essentially for bored children on a road trip, and Fili still seemed slightly unsure, but Jael was so happy to have something else to do than answer their unending questions that she didn't care.

"So, who's going first?"


	3. Chapter 3

_**Meeting Bilbo, the Rest of the Dwarves, and Gandalf**_

* * *

After five minutes of I-Spy, Jael began to get very bored. However, since Kili and Fili liked it, _and_ they weren't asking her questions anymore, she decided to tolerate the game.

 _There are only so many times I can try to find something green in this foreST! I'm about done with this game._

As Kili said, "I-spy with my little eye something green" for the fiftieth time, Jael banged her head against a tree trunk.

 _I should never have introduced this game to them. Just...kill me...now...pleaSE!_

However, before Jael could do anything too drastic like ending her life, _or Kili's or Fili's_ , they entered the outskirts of the Shire. She instantly turned their attention away from the game by emitting a loud noise that was in no way reminiscent of a squeal.

 _Their tiny houses are so cute! I've always loved the Shire, whether in the movies and the books, and now I'm here!_

While she was trying valiantly, and failing, to conceal her fangirling, Kili and Fili were already arguing about the direction of Bilbo's house.

After three minutes, Jael's fangirling had calmed down, and she finally noticed that the boys were still arguing. She stopped one of the passing hobbits and asked, "Do you know where Bilbo Baggin's house is from here?"

He gave her directions, and she turned to the dwarves with a smirk. "What is it with guys and being against asking for directions?"

They frowned at her, but followed anyway, not wanting to be left behind. "How did you know to ask for his house? We never told you we were going there?"

She froze, panicking. _How do I explain that?! Brain? Why have you failed me? Come up with a believable lie! Please?!_

"You also live in a place neither of us have ever heard of, with a breed of dog that does not exist, and a tent and bow that we have never seen."

"Uh...haha...about that..."

"You aren't from this world, are you?"

Jael tensed, the only thing in her head was a loud drawn-out scream of terror. _They know!_

 _What do I do? What do I do?_

While she was panicking on the inside, her face didn't show any of it, and her mouth opened without her consent. "Yes, I am. I was afraid that you would not believe me or that you would think I was crazy and that is why I didn't tell you. I apologize."

"Yes, but that doesn't tell us how you knew to ask for Bilbo or how you knew about Gandalf, the Shire, and Bree."

"In my world there are legends of Middle Earth. There are little anecdotes of different people and places and things, and it is highly popular because our world does not have dwarves or elves or hobbits or wizards or goblins."

 _Who in blazes is talking because I can tell you right now...that I am exceedingly grateful for the smooth deliverance of that speech because I for sure would have stumbled over my words. I guess shock really can do wonders._

"Some of the people in Middle Earth were written about; Bilbo and Gandalf were just two of the ones that had stories recorded."

Kili and Fili would have continued asking, but they were easily distracted by the appearance of Bilbo Baggins' house.

Jael had never been so glad to see a house in all her life, and she would have gladly kissed it, _if_ Kili and Fili would have still considered her semi-normal after witnessing it. However, she knew they wouldn't, and she decided against it.

When they knocked on the door, Bilbo Baggins opened it, not surprised at all, but definitely put-upon. "What can I do for you?"

 _At least his manners haven't gone out the window yet. Probably because there are only two dwarves in his house at the moment._

"Kili..."

"And Fili..."

They looked at her, halted in their bows, and she grinned wryly, "And Jael..."

 **"At your service!"** All three of them finished together.

Kili grinned, "You must be Mr. Boggins!"

Bilbo turned to look at Jael, having heard her quickly muffled giggle, and rolled his eyes, looking even more put-upon than before.

"No, you can't come in. You have the wrong house." He tried to close the door, but Kili and Fili panicked.

Kili grabbed the door, almost forcing his way in, in his hurry to get an answer. "Has it been canceled?"

Jael sighed, and facepalmed, wondering if they were really this dense or just faking it. _Well, so far it's been a mix of the book and the movie, so I wonder how things will go from here on._

She tuned back into the conversation to catch the end of Bilbo's confusion, and as the boys pushed past him, she placed a hand on the hobbit, steadying him, and apologizing quietly.

As Fili and Kili took off their traveling clothes and all their weapons, she sighed and took them from poor Bilbo who was looking extremely overwhelmed. She placed them in a sensible location, stopped Kili from scraping the mud off his shoes on Bilbo's mother's glory box, and tried, in general, to keep the brothers out of trouble until she could finally send them in to join the other dwarves.

"I hate to tell you this, Mr. Baggins, but there will be a total of thirteen dwarves and one wizard joining you tonight."

He looked faint, and Jael had to suppress a grin. "Would you like some help in the kitchen?"

Bilbo started in surprise, and Jael took the opportunity to make a joke. "Hey, even though I look like this doesn't mean I can't cook! Lead me to it, Mr. Baggins."

With a grin, he headed off, saying over his shoulder, "You can call me Bilbo, and thank you for the warning."

Jael paused for a second, commanding her dogs to stay hidden outside, and then she followed him to the kitchen.

After a few minutes, she heard the doorbell, and at the sight of Bilbo's face, said, "I will go welcome them in, if you'd like."

He nodded gratefully to her, and she headed to the door.

Dori, Nori, Ori, Oin, and Gloin stood outside, and, although confused at seeing a human female, still introduced themselves with an **"At your service."**

Jael nodded and gestured for them to come in, but warned, "If you even think about scraping your boots on that box right there, I will make sure you get nothing to eat."

Suitably cowed by this threat, they avoided the box as if it were the plague, and she sent them into the dining room once they had derobed themselves of traveling cloaks and weapons.

She re-entered the kitchen, helped Bilbo put all the snacks on trays, and headed into the dining room.

The dwarves all turned to look at them, excited at the prospect of food (more food for some of them who had already eaten something), and she stopped Bilbo quickly before he could put food on the table.

"I want your attention, please."

"Well, you have it, missy. Go on with what you wish to say so that we can eat!"

Jael narrowed her eyes. "You will be polite while here at Mr. Bilbo's house, or you will get no food. That means asking nicely for something if you want it, and helping Bilbo if he needs it.

"If I hear any of you yelling for something, I will kick you out of the house. You came to ask something of Mr. Baggins, and he will not be as likely to help if you're rude. Do you understand?"

Surprised, and with a bit of grumbling, the dwarves conceded.

"Thank you."

She turned to Bilbo, who was also surprised, and said, "If you would start?"

He began to place the platters of food on the table, and, with a single glare from Jael, the dwarves jumped up to help.

While she walked around making sure that things were okay, and that nothing more was needed, she heard Dwalin whisper, "She seems to have a temper, but does anyone know who she is? Did the hobbit take a human wife?"

Bilbo sputtered, and Kili and Fili laughed.

"No, she came with us. We found her lost in the woods, and she said that she had been trying to find Gandalf so we brought her here."

The dwarves mulled over this as Jael heard a loud thunk on the door. Hoping against hope that it was the book version of events that were happening in this case, she walked to the door and dramatically threw it open.

With much yelling, and one or two curses, four dwarves landed on the floor. Jael erupted into peals of laughter, pleased that it had indeed been the book's events that happened, _and_ that Thorin, in all his majesty, had landed on the bottom of the pile, under Bombur and his brothers. Gandalf laughed merrily with her, leaning on his staff.

Jael spoke up before Gandalf could say anything about keeping friends waiting. "Hello. I would invite you in, but it seems to be too late for that. Might I ask the names of our esteemed guests?"

 **"Bifur, Bofur, and Bombur...at your service."**

Jael smiled at them, "Why thank you sirs. I apologize for laughing. It was most unkind of me. May I take your things?"

They handed her their cloaks and weapons, and she put them away, warning them from touching Bilbo's mother's glory box.

By this time, Thorin had pulled himself up off the ground and drawn himself up, trying to gather his lost majesty.

"So...this is the hobbit." He circled Bilbo for a few seconds, completely ignoring Jael. "Tell me, Mr. Baggins, have you done much fighting?"

"Pardon me?" Bilbo looked to the one person who had stood up for him this whole time, but Thorin simply continued with a small, smug smile.

"Ax or sword? What's your weapon of choice?"

Before poor Bilbo could say anything, Jael stepped in front of him. "As a guest, asking something like this of your host indicates that you have no manners. As a potential employer, while it would be wise to ask, you have ignored the most basic rule of burglary: silence. Neither of those weapons are exactly conducive to silence, and therefore would defeat their purpose.

"As that question was ill-advised on two different counts, would you like to rephrase, sir?"

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 **Hello, this is the standard disclaimer that I'm getting too lazy for.** _ **So**_ **this will be the last one. I own only my own OC's, nothing else. Any relation between this story and real-life events or other stories are pure coincidence OR I got permission to use them. Thanks and enjoy this "extremely" long chapter.**


	4. Chapter 4

_**One Cantankerous Dwarf Does Not a Company Ruin…..Maybe**_

* * *

Thorin stared at her for a few seconds in complete astonishment, and then smirked, "While your desire to defend your husband is recommendable, you have no part in this conversation."

Jael let out a little laugh, extremely angry, and retorted. "The fact that you think the only female who would defend a male is said male's wife says only that you are sadly lacking both in your education _and_ your relationships. Friends have just as much right to defend each other as spouses."

The rest of the dwarves were uneasy. This little showdown between Thorin and Jael seemed that it would go on forever, but, thankfully, for most, Gandalf intervened.

"Thorin, Bilbo, and company, I am pleased to introduce the last member: Ms. Jael Tolkien. She's come quite a long way to join you..." He smiled, "Across worlds in fact."

That gave them all pause, Jael most of all, because how did Gandalf know: 1) that she was from another world, and 2) her last name. She never told anyone her last name. It just created a huge mess, and she hated dealing with it.

Her attention was brought back to the conversation when Gandalf addressed her.

"It is wonderful to see you again, Ms. Jael. Did you enjoy your trip? I would have welcomed you myself, but I was unfortunately detained."

"Hold on! You brought me here?! Or at the very least, you know how I got here?!"

Gandalf nodded, "Yes, I did bring you here."

Jael's jaw tightened, and she grabbed his arm, dragging him past the stunned dwarves, and an immobile Bilbo, and out into the garden.

"Listen here, Mr. High-and-Mighty-I-Won't-Ask-For-Permission, you better have a bloody good reason for bringing me here or so help me, I will find some way to end you!"

"When I first met you, we had a conversation about the horrible ending of the third movie while still in the theater. That was when you told me that you would do anything to change it. The second time we met was when I followed you to your job and asked you to train those dogs in Elvish. I met you several more times after that to give new instructions…" He trailed off as he saw her darkening expression.

"You were that dapper old man in the nice suit with the sweet grey beard? You were the one who increased my workload by one hundred percent? You brought me here because I said, in the heat of the moment, mind you, that I would do anything to change the line of Durin's end?"

Gandalf paused for a second and then nodded. "Yes, I was."

Jael sighed and put her head in her hands. "Have you never heard of asking? What if I decided to sabotage the journey because I was angry at you?"

Gandalf seemed surprised at the notion that she was angry at coming to Middle Earth. Jael still just couldn't believe that someone thought it'd be a good idea to just rip someone from their home without permission.

After two minutes of staring at each other, Jael caved. _Fine! I don't care anymore. I'll help, but…._

"I'll help, but I don't know what I'll be able to change. Is that ok?"

Gandalf smiled and said that that would be fine. Slightly relieved, Jael nodded.

Before he could head inside though, she asked, "How long will it take for you to gather enough magic to send me back?"

He paused, refusing to turn around, and answered in a very quiet voice, "Six months."

She stared at him in disbelief as he continued inside. Her loud groan of frustration brought both her dogs to their feet, and in the time it took to pacify them, she had managed to calm down a little. _So_ , telling them to lie back down, she headed back into the house.

Once she was inside, Thorin stared at her with suspicion. Jael sighed, very much annoyed. Although Thorin was her favorite character, his "majesty" turned into stubbornness, high-handedness, and the need to be right in real life. This made him extremely irritating, and Jael congratulated herself that she hadn't already punched him.

However, she was going to be the bigger person, and so…..she completely ignored him, walking right past him to the table where she sat down and began to eat.

Kili and Fili came up to her, with Ori following, and they began to excitedly ask her about the other world.

She answered their questions patiently for a while, and then sighed, "Give me a second. I know I brought…."

She trailed off and headed to her backpack. _Please be here!_

She exclaimed in relief when her hand found her atlas of the world. _Hallelujah! This will help a lot. It's not like I have a photographic memory. How am I supposed to know half of the things they want to know?_

She brought the "extremely heavy" book back to the table, stating, "This is a book of my world. It has maps, statistics, facts, etc. about the countries and peoples of my planet."

Jael is adamant that she was not at all surprised by how quickly Ori took the book from her, not at all.

Once the three youngest dwarves were occupied with the Atlas of earth, Gandalf, Balin, and Thorin came over to her to talk to her.

"Are you an experienced fighter?"

"Well, yeah. I can shoot a bow with 90% accuracy on a moving target, and I can hold my own against most males."

Thorin was clearly suspicious, and she sighed, continuing, "I grew up in an orphanage. I was the one who protected them all. I mean, Billy was a nerd, Sam played the flute, George was in drama, and Andy was four-foot-three. None of them would have been any help, so I stepped up."

"And why would you help us?"

She glared at Gandalf who looked innocently back at her. " _Someone_ decided that I could help, and dragged me here. It will take at least six months for him to have enough magic to send me back. So, since I have no way back, _and_ I'm a crazy person who thinks going up against a dragon with only sixteen people will be fun, I'm coming with you."

Although unsure what to think of the fact that she had literally called herself crazy, Thorin could find no other reason to refuse her, especially when Gandalf said that he had had a vision that the quest would fail without her. So with extreme reluctance, Thorin gave in and the fifteenth member of the party was chosen.

Since Thorin had given in, Jael headed back to her plate of food, where Kili, Fili, and Ori bombarded her with questions that she, once again, did her best to answer patiently.

Meanwhile, Thorin turned to Balin who was taking out the two contracts that he had made. He placed one back into his pack, and carefully unfolded the one remaining. "I shall have to change the contract. It was not written with a woman in mind."

Thorin nodded, majestically, but was interrupted by a very unladylike snort. "Oh please, I don't care. I'll sign that contract whether you use male, female, or plural pronouns. It doesn't matter to me. So you really don't have to spend hours or whatever fixing it."

Both Balin and Thorin were taken aback at the thought of not using the correct pronouns, but at the sight of her unimpressed face, Balin turned to Thorin with a questioning look. Thorin thought it over for a few seconds, and then sighed, "Very well."

* * *

So, Jael sat at the table five minutes later, reading a contract that was clearly meant for a male, and not caring. _Oh, the horror! Seriously though, why would they think they had to change this beautiful contract. The writing is gorgeous. Why can't my writing be this good?!_

However, she paused at the aspect of travel money to be provided by herself. She glared down at the contract, and then she glanced at Thorin. She shook her head, having read _Stirring the Leaves_ **[an amazing Thorin/OC fanfic by the way!]** , she knew that he would not help her out with money, _especially_ since she had "undermined" his authority earlier.

So, instead, she stood up and walked over to Gandalf. She cleared her throat, and he glanced up to see her with crossed arms, the contract dangling out of one hand, and looking extremely displeased.

"So, I assume you will be providing me with traveling expenses since you brought me here against my will?"

Gandalf seemed to be in shock at the question, and Jael rolled her eyes.

"Did you expect me to just have money from this world with me? Or did you expect that I wouldn't need anything to take with me? I hate to have to give you an anatomy lesson at your age, but I'm a girl! I have quite a few things that I will need as traveling necessities that males won't consider, especially if this journey takes months."

Gandalf cleared his throat awkwardly and said, "I will provide you with money."

She beamed at him, and he had the strangest feeling that he had just been tricked, even though he knew that she had not been lying to him about the necessities.

However, a snort from _the_ majestic dwarf who was most certainly not sulking in the corner made her frown.

"I assume the money from your world would work here. Gold and silver rarely change their value between regions."

She turned and made eye contact with him and slowly stalked toward him while reaching into one of the pockets in her cargo pants. She pulled out her wallet and unfolded it.

"Look through this."

He took it, puzzled, glanced at its contents, and then raised his head to look at her.

"What of it?"

"That is my world's currency. I assume since you have said that I can use my world's money in this world that you will be exchanging it for me? There is a thousand dollars on one of the credit cards. The others only have about twenty each, and I have five dollars cash. So, may I have the equivalent exchange?"

Somewhat ashamed of himself, but absolutely not willing to admit it, Thorin handed her wallet back to her. "This cannot be exchanged for the money in our world."

Jael rolled her eyes, "No, duh."

However, she decided to be nice, and left him in his totally-not-sulking-corner, and headed to the table to finish reading the contract.

 _The Dwarvish thing will be a problem, but….he is already in a bad mood, and I am not about to make it worse. Well, if they won't allow a translator….I'll just speak German so they can't understand me. Perks of training a German Shepherd for a German man. Although I don't know much, I can totally fake it._

So, after "much consideration", Jael signed the contract and handed it back to Balin.

"Did you write this? Because it is beautiful."

He smiled at her, "Thank you, I did."

After he had glanced at her signature, he started, "Is this how they sign things in your world?"

He gestured to the initials JRRT, and she sighed, "I mean, I could write out Jael Rachel Renee Tolkien, but I have absolutely no interest in doing so since those four letters are still me."

Dubious, he glanced over to Thorin, who nodded once firmly. "Since everything is in order, welcome to the Company."

 _Just because there's one cantankerous dwarf, that doesn't mean the journey will be horrible…..right?_


	5. Chapter 5

_**An Interrupted Sleep and a Journey's Start**_

As Bilbo started to clean up, Jael placed her hand on his arm and cleared her throat extremely loudly.

The dwarves jumped, and the ones who had sat through her lecture hopped up quickly to help. With a very pointed look and another clearing of her throat, Bofur, Bombur, and Bifur also sprang up.

She glared at Thorin, and he stared straight back. Before either one of them could bend the other's will, the dwarves started to sing, _and_ throw the dishes, and she quickly pulled Bilbo aside.

"I promise that nothing bad will happen to your dishes, Bilbo. Do you trust me?"

He nodded reluctantly, and hovered anxiously in the hallway, rushing into the kitchen as the dwarves finished. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw that Jael had been right and that nothing had been broken.

Now that the dishes had been put away, Thorin and the group sat around the table. Jael sat in the corner watching them, not really caring about anything that was going to be said since she already knew it all, and just hoping that Thorin wouldn't be as long-winded as in the book.

She'd never actually managed to read his long-winded speech all the way through, although she had managed to sit through it during the movie, so she hoped he'd follow the movie in this case. But, knowing her luck, she would probably have to sit through his lecture. She decided then and there that if he did decide to lecture, she'd leave the room, find Bilbo's room, and grab a coat meant for traveling and rain and a handkerchief, and pack it in her bags so that he wouldn't be inconvenienced on the trip any more than necessary.

As he opened his mouth, Jael sighed. _Nope._ She wasn't gonna be able to sit through either of the versions of him talking. She was still too annoyed at him. She stood up and walked out of the room, ignoring all the questioning glances from everyone as she left.

She snuck into Bilbo's room and grabbed some of the essentials that she knew he forgot, completely ignoring the feeling that she was being a little too creepy. _I know I'm being creepy! Stop reminding me, stupid conscience._

After she had silenced her conscience, she headed outside. Although normally she'd prefer to stay indoors and sleep, she had no interest in sleeping next to the dwarves, who snored, any more than she had to, especially since she knew that she'd have to deal with them for the next three months at least.

She set up her sleeping bag, glancing at her tent before deciding that it wasn't necessary. Neither the book nor the movie had shown rain falling on the night before they left so she was pretty sure that she'd be fine.

She quickly fell asleep with her two dogs on either side of her.

* * *

Jael opened her eyes blearily. Waking up was never her favorite thing to do, and waking up before the sun rose was guaranteed to make her an unhappy camper, especially when she had not woken on her own.

She glared over at the dwarves, wondering if strangling them here would ruin the plot too much or if it would just change the place that they died.

No. It'd definitely change the plot too much; they wouldn't get into half as much trouble with no dwarves as they would with them. So that meant that she had to put up with them...but it didn't mean she had to let them escape unscathed.

So, plotting misfortune for the troupe of dwarves, she snuggled back into her sleeping bag. She'd catch up with them when Bilbo chased after them.

However, it wasn't long before the dwarves trooped back through the garden, and her eyes opened, bloodshot and furious.

She sat straight up and her voice was flat and filled with the wrath of someone who had just been woken twice by the same group of people.

"If you wake me up one more time, I will end you before you even have a chance to meet the dragon."

She made eye contact with each and every dwarf before she flopped back down onto her bedding with a huff and a muttered, "Stupid dwarves ruining the first good sleep I've had in ages. How'd they like it if I ruined their sleep? Of course, they'd hate it…"

Slowly she trailed off as she fell back asleep, and the dwarves looked at each other in shock, wondering what they were supposed to do in this situation.

Thorin finally snorted, and said, although extremely quietly, "Fine; we'll just leave her here. She'll catch up or not as she chooses. It has nothing to do with us."

* * *

It was almost an hour later when Bilbo came running out of the door, contract signed and in his hand. He hurtled past Jael before crashing to a halt, and coming back for her.

"Jael? Weren't you going with the dwarves?"

She sat up, rubbing the sleep from her eyes as she yawned.

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I can't wait for you as well get all the sleep I want."

She smiled widely at him to take any sting out of her words and then got up, revealing that she was in a simple tank top and pair of pajama shorts. She rolled up her sleeping bag and quickly stowed it away as Bilbo looked away from her with a blush blazoned across his cheeks.

Although Jael saw his blush, she simply ignored it, calling for her dogs and placing their packs on them.

"Come on, let's go!"

She set off without bothering to change, and he followed, cheeks still what seemed to be a permanent red.

Although the dwarves had set off almost an hour before them, it still didn't take long for Bilbo and Jael to catch up. Idly, Jael wondered if one of the dwarves or Gandalf had been responsible for their slow pace.

She ignored Bilbo handing off the contract, and instead reveled in the incredulous and mortified stares that the dwarves were sending her way. _Ah, revenge is sweet_.

Kili and Fili walked over to her, " **Why are you wearing that?"**

"You guys kept waking me up, so I had absolutely no interest or time to be changing into other clothes. So, unfortunately, I am stuck wearing this."

She walked past them with a barely concealed smirk, deliberately heading toward Mr.-Frowning-Majesty-Himself. "Are we ready, Thorin Oakenshield~?"

With a short, distracted, nod, he gave permission for the company to head off.

 _It seems that he isn't pleased...but, he's the one who started this. So….here's hoping he goes insane before I do. Hmmm…..nah, I don't want him to go insane...that was...too_ sad. _Here's hoping he capitulates instead!_

* * *

 **Sorry, it took so long! Teaching is a freaking pain in the butt, especially when 12th graders have the English skills of a 3rd grader.**


	6. Chapter 6

**The Trolls Weren't an Inconvenience to Me~**

* * *

They hadn't been traveling for long when Jael got out Bilbo's bag of things and said, "Here. I'm pretty sure that you forgot all this stuff when you left."

Afterward, she continued on as if nothing had happened, ignoring their surprised looks. _What? I can be kind when I need to be. Nope~ I wasn't being a stalker! I was kind! KinD!_

Although she was trying to convince herself, her inner rational being told her that she had made absolutely no progress on that front.

About half an hour later, she pulled open her bag, placing on her heavy winter coat and boots, not having any interest in getting soaked. Although she was now hot, it was better than getting soaked and becoming ill.

She didn't have the physique of the dwarves; she wasn't able to get drenched for hours and not get ill. She rolled her eyes at the thought. A human's body was seriously stupid. They had almost no benefits over the dwarves except for height, and she didn't even have that!

She grumbled under her breath even as the rain began pouring down, and the others got drenched before they managed to pull out their coats.

However, her mood instantly lightened up as the rain poured down. Both places she'd lived (England and Florida) had rain almost every day, and it reminded her of home. A smile lit up her face as she watched them struggle to get their coats on. _Petty revenge is the best~_

She glanced around to see that Gandalf had vanished. _Great. So this is following the book. Lovely._

Thorin muttered something about eating, and Jael rolled her eyes.

She mouthed along with him, "Where shall we find a dry patch to sleep on?"

Nori realized that Gandalf had disappeared only now and groaned, "Just when a wizard would have been most useful, too."

Realizing there was no help for it, they huddled under some trees where it was relatively drier. Desperately, they tried to light a fire. But even the dwarves, who could light a fire with almost anything, couldn't light one.

Jael, feeling extremely smug, pulled out her lighter, and handed it to Dwalin.

"What's this?"

"It's a lighter from my world. It's got something inside it that creates fire."

Taking it back, she showed them how it worked. Then, she tore a strip of cloth from her pajama shorts-it wasn't like she could ever wear them again in this world anyway-so that they could use it to start a fire.

The fire that she started burned brightly for just long enough to raise their hopes before a passing squirrel's badly timed jump dumped water on it.

Glaring up at the hapless squirrel, she sighed. "Well, I'm out of ideas."

Grumbling under her breath as they began to argue, she hoped that they wouldn't notice the fire burning in the distance. However, as the dwarves' voices took on an excited tone, she knew that that was a vain hope.

"Should we go look at it?"

"But they're trolls~" She sang behind them as they crept toward the fire. She was quiet, but that didn't mean that she couldn't protest this retarded decision.

"How could you know that without checking?"

"I'm psychic?"

"What does that even mean?" They were all confused, but she simply shrugged.

"It's a thing from my world. I can, sometimes, see the future." _That seems like a better explanation than saying, 'Hey, you're all book characters, and, quite frankly, I liked you better as characters since you didn't get on my nerves as much.' Yeah, that's not happening._

They stopped and stared at her, in utter shock. **"You can-you can see the future?!"**

"Sometimes." She sweatdropped. _Their eyes are so...sparkley. I feel like I just lied to my dogs. I'm a horrible person._

She sighed, "That doesn't matter right now. I told you who was at that fire so what are you going to do about it?"

They pulled back, falling into a long argument. While they argued, she noticed that Bilbo seemed to be extremely uncomfortable. She grinned at him, and he offered a tremulous smile back to her.

Finally, the dwarves decided to send their "burglar" to check out the troll situation. Jael rolled her eyes. _I've already told them that they're trolls. Why are they bothering to "check out the troll situation"?_

However, taking a glance at the sky, she felt that she had managed to stall them long enough that the trolls would still turn into stone.

Before Bilbo headed out, she pulled him aside. "There are three trolls there. Trolls' purses can speak. Watch out for that. Also..." She leaned in, whispering that last bit of advice with a small smirk.

Surprised, he looked up at her, and she nodded at him with a beaming smile.

Slightly less worried about his first try at being a burglar, Bilbo set off.

Using his Hobbit-quietness, that he was extremely proud of, even to the point that he had secretly disdained the dwarvish racket, he quickly crept towards the flickering fire.

Just as Jael had said, there were three trolls, two of which were still eating giant haunches of some sort of meat. Bilbo wasn't sure that he wanted to know what the meat was.

But the trolls soon enlightened him, complaining that they'd already had mutton yesterday, and they were having it again today, and there was an extremely high chance that it would be what they'd be eating tomorrow as well.

Bert berated William, but William simply replied that he couldn't expect people to just come up to him, waiting to be eaten.

As Bilbo had already been warned against trying to pickpocket a troll, he simply watched as they argued with each other over their journey down from the mountains.

However, when it seemed as if they were about to begin packing up to avoid the sun, Bilbo deliberately stepped on a twig.

* * *

When the dwarves could no longer wait, they headed out to see why Bilbo had not come back. Jael, who already knew what was going to happen, decided to wait another ten-twenty minutes before checking to make sure that nothing had gone wrong.

She arrived in time to hear the boys confess to having fleas and diseases, and she nearly broke out into laughter, barely managing to hold it in by biting her lip and burying her face into Everest's fur.

Soon, the trolls were stone. Instantly, Jael stopped trying to hide her laughter, collapsing onto the forest floor, almost in tears. The dwarves glared at her, but she didn't care, especially since she had warned them that there were trolls.

When she finally calmed down, she grinned up at them, her entire face lighting up. "Well, trolls are a pain, but at least I wasn't inconvenienced~"

They all sighed, but before they could berate her, Gandalf stepped out from behind a tree.

.

.

.

.

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 **I am so sorry. I have no excuse!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A Troll Cave, Sign Language, and King Arthur**

* * *

Thorin glared at Gandalf, trying valiantly to ignore the giggles that Jael was no longer muffling. "Where were you?"

"Looking ahead."

Jael stole the next classic line, unable to help herself, "And what brought you back?" The smile on her face negated the normally annoyed line.

He smiled back at her, slyly, "Looking behind."

Before Thorin and the other dwarves could get into an argument with Gandalf, he reminded them that the trolls should have had a treasure cave somewhere nearby.

That diverted all the dwarves' attention from him, and they began to cast about for where the trolls could have possibly come from. It wasn't long before they found the first footprint that led up the side of the mountain to a cave with a locked door.

No amount of pushing by the dwarves allowed them in, and it wasn't until Bilbo presented a key, that might have been small and secretive for a troll, but was quite big for a hobbit, that they finally managed to get the door open.

Jael had read about the horrible smell in the cave, and she had smelled quite a few decaying animal corpses on her hunting trips so she'd thought she'd been prepared for the smell that would assault her senses. She wasn't.

It felt as if someone had dumped a rotting corpse in a eight-day-old diaper, bathed it in skunk spray, and then smacked her in the face with it.

She and her dogs ran from the cave opening. She had no interest in anything that could be found in a cave that smelt that horrible. She took deep breaths in the fresh mountain air, trying to avoid throwing up. Her dogs could not stop sneezing. Apparently, the horrible smell had been too much for them as well.

 _How are they managing to walk into that cave without puking?! Is that what happens the longer you're here? Your sense of smell disappears?!_

When Gandalf came out, bringing a dagger with him, Jael almost refused it. But, after he forced it into to her hand, turning away to head back into the cave to find some more things, she took a discreet sniff, and was relieved that the binding on the hilt did not smell like the cave.

Although she _did_ have a knife, she did not want to blunt it using it on any of the...enemies that they'd be likely to meet on this journey. So it was nice that she now had a different weapon to use in case she ran out of arrows.

When the dwarves began to drag out food and ale from the trolls cave, intending on eating because they were hungry, she almost revolted. _What is it with men and being willing to eat anything that's been in the cave? I so hoped that they wouldn't do that._

While they cooked that, she headed into the woods, hunting down something to eat that hadn't been in the cave with the trolls. She finally came across a small rabbit, and she shot it. She brought it back, skinning it and cleaning it, giving the offal to her pets while she cooked the rest of it.

Once she'd finished eating, she gave the rest to her dogs and quickly buried the bones. After that, they all slept because they had gotten no sleep the night before. Only when the afternoon was advanced did they begin moving again.

Although they had begun to feel the danger, and there were no more stories or songs, that didn't stop Jael from keeping the sign language for dummies book open, trying desperately to learn sign language so that she could communicate with Bifur, who, because of the axe to his head, could only speak the dwarvish tongue or use the dwarvish sign language that they had invented to combat the loud sounds of mining ore.

Once she was sure that she knew a few signs by heart, she rode over to Bofur and Bifur. "Um, I noticed that you only speak dwarvish, and then I saw you making signs with your hands? I'm pretty sure that I wouldn't be able to learn that since it counts as the dwarvish language?"

She waited for their confirmation, and then she continued, "Well, my world has something like it, and I have a book on it. I was wondering if you'd like to learn it with me? Then we could communicate easily."

His grin made her smile, and they agreed to spend time every night before bed learning sign language together. Plus, they could practice while they rode. Jael was ecstatic because she'd felt so awkward the first time she'd spoken to him, and someone had had to interpret his answer. This would make it so much easier on everyone.

It was the next day, while Bifur and Jael were practicing the signs for a few of the more common words that would be used every day, that Bilbo looked up at the nearing mountain and asked solemnly, "Is that THE Mountain?"

It was clear that he was in awe of the mountain, most likely because he'd never seen anything that large before.

Balin shook his head, "Of course not! That is only the beginning of the Misty Mountains. We have to get through, or over, or under them somehow, before we can get into the Wilderland beyond. And it is much farther than that to get to the Lonely Mountain in the east where Smaug lies on our treasure."

Both Bilbo, who had never gone this far in his life, _and_ Jael, who _had_ gone farther than this-but never on a _freakin'_ horse!-felt more tired than they had ever felt before. Bilbo thought longingly of his comfy armchair and a roaring fire, while Jael wished more than anything that she could be sitting in front of her TV with the air conditioning blasting and background music playing quietly.

She sighed. This was gonna be a ridiculously long time without AC or TV or _WIFI_. Honestly, that was what she was going to miss the most.

Bifur seemed to notice her deflating mood and asked her something. Jael stared at him in disbelief and then groaned, "That's not fair~! How are you better at learning this than I am?"

She took out the book, asking him to repeat his signs. After a few seconds, she realized that he was asking if she were willing to tell a story from her world to pass the time.

She signed that yes, she did, continuing, "But there's no way I'll be able to sign it. Is that okay?"

He told her that that was fine, and she pondered for a second before finally deciding to tell the story of the Sword in the Stone. It seemed fitting because Merlin and Gandalf had about the same level of tolerance for stupidity.

"In a kingdom, there ruled a king. Knowing that his son would not be safe if he were to keep him, he gave him to a wizard whose name was Merlin. Merlin took the child, whose name was Arthur, and gave him to a knight. The knight did not know that Arthur was the son of the king. He thought that he was his own...indiscretion.

"The king soon grew ill and died. But he died leaving no heir. Fighting broke the kingdom as men destroyed the land in their desire to rule it. Tired of the destruction, the lords asked Merlin to bring forth a solution to the fighting. Knowing that Arthur was too young to be king, he placed a sword in a stone and engraved upon the rock this legend, 'Whoso pulleth out this sword from this stone, is rightwise King born of all England.'

"Many knights, lords, and earls tried to pull the sword from the stone, but even the strongest among them could not budge the sword from its place. Eventually, the sword was forgotten, and England fell into greater dissension. But Arthur was growing, and Merlin introduced himself to the young man.

"They became friends, and Merlin began to tutor the young man in the subjects that he was never taught as his adopted family were ashamed of him. Merlin showed Arthur that brute force was not always the answer, which was an appropriate lesson since Arthur was a thin young man that could barely lift a sword.

"But Merlin could see in him the strength and wisdom that would make a great king. He trained him for years before he felt that the young man was ready. When Arthur was just fifteen, he brought the young man to the sword in the stone. A crowd, already assembled, watched as Arthur pulled the sword from the stone. Arthur was crowned King, and ruled for many years. He was the wisest and the best King that England had."

She looked up to see that all of them had been listening to her story. _Oh, bloody marathons. You've got to be kidding me. They all heard?! Blast it! Well, at least I didn't tell them the Disney version. That would have gone over well with Thorin, I'm sure._

But she didn't have long to freak out before Kili, Fili, and Ori exploded with praise and questions. Well, the questions were all Ori. He hadn't managed to write the story down, but he had noticed that the kingdom had the same name as the place she'd said that she lived.

While she answered the questions, and promised that she would tell more stories, Thorin stared at her with eyes that weren't _quite_ judgmental, but not quite approving either.

Feeling childish, she stuck her tongue out at him, and laughed at his affronted look. _Oh well, that could have gone worse. At least, he hasn't started yelling yet._

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 **So, I have no idea where this chapter went. It kinda got away from me. Oh, well. Whatever. At least there is one. Sorry if it's garbage.**


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